A dictionary of modern lifeOriginal definitions · Illustrated satire
Lucifer’s Lexicon

Modern life, properly defined.

From the dictionary

CUSTOMER SUCCESS

n.The department created after sales discovers the customer survives the contract.

A hand-drawn satirical comic showing Lucifer checking the pulse of a battered customer on a gurney while a salesperson departs with a commission cheque.
The illustrated dictionary CUSTOMER SUCCESS
A connected train of thought

  1. Product & Customer

    CUSTOMER JOURNEY n.

    The route by which a simple purchase acquires seventeen internal owners.

  2. Product & Customer

    MVP n.

    The smallest thing management is willing to call finished and customers are expected to call useful.

  3. Product & Customer

    ROADMAP n.

    A chronology of promises arranged before the obstacles are known.

  4. Governance & Procurement

    BUSINESS CASE n.

    Arithmetic prepared in support of a conclusion already reached.