Corporate Speak.
Language used to make ordinary organisational behaviour sound strategic, collaborative, measurable or inevitable.
27 published definitions
Meetings & Office Life
CIRCLE BACK v.
To postpone an unwanted conversation with sufficient optimism to avoid ending it.
Corporate Speak
COLLABORATION n.
The division of responsibility among enough people that blame becomes impractical.
Security & Compliance
SECURITY AWARENESS n.
The annual instruction not to perform the behaviour required by several daily workflows.
Meetings & Office Life
ALL-HANDS n.
A meeting requiring everybody's attendance and very few people's participation.
Governance & Procurement
BUSINESS CASE n.
Arithmetic prepared in support of a conclusion already reached.
People & HR
PERFORMANCE REVIEW n.
An annual ceremony in which twelve months of work are compressed into three adjectives.
Consulting & Transformation
TARGET OPERATING MODEL n.
A diagram of an organisation that does not yet exist, drawn by people who will not work in it.
Governance & Procurement
GOVERNANCE n.
The machinery by which a decision acquires enough signatures to become nobody's fault.
Agile & Delivery
SAFE n.
A system for preserving the spirit of agility by protecting management from it.
Remote & Hybrid Work
RETURN TO OFFICE n.
An accounting exercise in which office-space costs are justified by compulsory video calls between adjacent desks.
Data & AI
AI STRATEGY n.
An executive pledge to keep up with the competition, consisting of a PowerPoint, some vibe coding and a generative-AI team in search of a purpose.
Product & Customer
CUSTOMER JOURNEY n.
The route by which a simple purchase acquires seventeen internal owners.
Corporate Speak
ACCOUNTABILITY n.
Responsibility assigned downward after authority has remained above.
People & HR
eNPS n.
A measure of employee feeling, converted into a number so that it may be ignored scientifically.
Finance & Startups
VENTURE CAPITALIST n.
A gambler distinguished from the ordinary kind by playing with other people's pensions.
Consulting & Transformation
CONSULTANT n.
One who learns your business from your employees and recommends it back to you in slides.
Agile & Delivery
AGILE adj.
A software-development method for treating the absence of a plan as adaptability.